Recommendations for parents
A teenager is no longer a kid with whom you did everything together: walked, played, read, etc. Now your child is growing up, and he has his own interests, hobbies, and friends. He is becoming more and more independent. To continue to get along with your son or daughter, I suggest you follow these guidelines.
Become a role model
What could be better than a satisfied and successful parent?! Don't get hung up on the child. Find time for yourself and your interests. The atmosphere in the house will become calmer and friendlier, and your teenager will follow your example.
Accept your child for who he is and support him
Teenagers have many complexes related to their appearance. Don't laugh at him, just help him. Want to dye your hair? Take me to the hairdresser. Want a tattoo? Invite him to make a temporary one. Any prohibition you make will be perceived as a signal to action. Both externally and internally he remains your child.
Knock on the room
This way you will let your son or daughter know that you respect his personal space. He will feel significant, which is very important in a difficult transition period.
Instead of blaming and reproaching, explain your feelings
For example, the usual: “You haven’t done your homework again!” replace with the phrase: “Your attitude towards studying upsets me.”
Don't raise your voice
Shouting is not an argument. On the contrary, when you scream, the teenager begins to feel that he is right, realizing that you have no arguments. Your menacing tone will make a stronger impression than a wild scream. Even if he is rude, don’t lose your temper! Maintain your composure at all costs. This is one of the most effective ways to help win an argument.
Apologize if you do mess up
When tension increases, it is best to disperse to different corners of the ring. Both the parent and the teenager will cool down, calm down and think about the situation. Well, if you couldn’t restrain yourself and you said too much, apologize. Learn to negotiate correctly.
Share his hobbies with your teenager
Now is your time to explore the wonderful world in which your son or daughter lives. Watch youth TV series, sports competitions together, listen to music that your child likes. Perhaps his tastes will seem wild to you, but remember yourself at this age. Did your parents share your interests? And also communicate with your child in instant messengers and social networks. In the virtual space, the conversation is easier, more relaxed and simpler than in personal contact.
Keep an eye on your child so you don't miss anything important.
Unfortunately, some parents are faced with the fact that their teenager becomes difficult, completely out of control, starts smoking, drinking alcohol, drugs, breaking the law by getting involved with bad company. Here you are unlikely to cope on your own. It is better to seek help from a psychologist. Better yet, try to avoid such situations.
Another good reason to take a teenager to a psychologist is prolonged depression. He constantly sits in the room, is not interested in anything, does not know how to make friends. This condition can easily provoke suicide. This cannot be done without the help of a professional. Be sensitive and attentive parents! No one knows your child better than you!
I understand that there is a lot of information, and it is unlikely that you will be able to remember all these rules at once, so to reinforce the material, I advise you to also watch a video from a psychologist. She explains in a very interesting and accessible way the main points in communicating with teenagers.
What to talk about with a teenager
It is much easier to communicate with a teenager if since childhood you have allowed him to talk about everything, reacted calmly and correctly and talked about yourself. Listen to your child more, give him the opportunity to speak out, and be sure to discuss the following points with him.
- Himself . Be interested in the child’s condition not only when he is sick. A teenager’s body is developing rapidly, and many processes occur for the first time. Talk to your child about his well-being, behavior, dreams, goals, and physiological changes. About everything connected with him.
- Relationships with the opposite sex and sex . He should learn about this from you, and not from friends “from the back alley.” Sex life will begin sooner or later, no matter how much you want it. You should not entrust education in matters of sexual relations and contraception to someone else, thinking that the teenager will somehow cope on his own and find out everything. Otherwise, it will be a shock for the mother to become pregnant with her daughter at 16 years old. Your task is to protect your child from possible problems and risks associated with the onset of sexual activity.
- You . They did not expect? But in vain! It is during adolescence that a child stops idealizing his parents. Now he begins to evaluate them critically. Share your thoughts, doubts, mistakes with your teenager, talk about your good and not so good experiences. You are no longer an indisputable authority for the child. Now you can become either his best friend or his enemy.
