Lesson summary “Journey to the Land of Etiquette”

Table etiquette for children

Politeness lessons, which help instill good table manners in children, argue that there is no need to learn complex rules from a very young age.

There is no need to delve into how, for example, certain types of forks and spoons differ

It is important to teach him the basic rules, which will become signs of a well-mannered young person. And he will figure out all the subtle nuances of table etiquette later - when he gets older

So, let's look at some politeness lessons for children, which is absolutely not allowed at the table:

sit down to eat food in an unkempt state, with disheveled hair and dirty hands;
chew food with your mouth open, smacking or slurping;
lick fingers;
put your elbows on the table;
spit out food, even if you don’t like its taste;
stuff your mouth and try to talk while doing so;
bite off too large pieces of food that are very difficult to chew;
take food with your hands;
licking a knife is not only uncivilized, but also dangerous;
picking at food with hands or cutlery;
sit in a too imposing position - lounging;
rock on a chair;
lean back, jerk your legs, knock on the table, your own or someone else’s chair;
start eating before everyone has sat down or are ready to eat, and get up before everyone has finished eating;
point cutlery at people sitting nearby;
take the last remaining piece from a common plate without offering it to others.

We've sorted out the main limitations. Also, the child needs to be explained what and how he is allowed to do at the table, observing the rules of decency:

When sitting at the table, you need to put a napkin on your knees

Etiquette experts also suggest that children under 5 years old can tuck a napkin into their collar. It is important to maintain the correct body position - feet parallel to the floor, back straight and resting on the back of the chair (if there is one). Products should be passed from left to right. If you are asked to pass a plate with some dish that is closest to a child or adult, you must first take it with your left hand and offer it to the person sitting to the left of him, and then take the plate in your right hand and pass it to the right. If you feel like sneezing, you need to turn away from the table towards your shoulder and preferably sneeze into a napkin (you can cover your mouth with your hand). Since some containers and glasses can be heavy for a child, they can handle the item with both hands. When you want to drink from a glass, you must first wipe your mouth with a napkin, since after eating food marks remain on your lips. If you need to leave the table, just apologize and leave quietly

If your child is visiting or you have guests, then you shouldn’t talk to everyone about why you need to go out. Get up from the chair on the right side.

If adults periodically or constantly ignore the indecent behavior of a child sitting at the table, then in the future it will be very difficult for him to instill the necessary habits.

A fairy tale about the culture of communication for children 5-7 years old

A fairy tale for children of senior preschool age: “The Land of Politeness”
Author: Dvoretskaya Tatyana Nikolaevna GBOU secondary school No. 1499 SP No. 2 preschool department Educator

Description: The author's fairy tale is intended for children of senior preschool age, preschool teachers, and parents. Purpose of the work: The fairy tale introduces children to the culture of communication and evokes a desire to use polite words in everyday life. Goal: Formation of moral and ethical standards of behavior in preschool children Objectives: 1. enriching ideas about the rules and ethics of behavior;
2. formation of a positive emotional attitude towards compliance with the rules of behavior; 3. use of problem situations to reinforce learned rules of behavior; 4. use of real life situations to replenish personal experience of cultural behavior. Author's fairy tale: The Land of Politeness.

In one city there lived a girl, Natasha, who was very ill-mannered and rude. The girl was 5 years old, and she could sit alone in her room for hours on end and play with dolls. But one day, when the girl was playing as usual, she heard a quiet melody. The music was incredibly beautiful and Natasha immediately began to search for where it came from? First of all, the girl looked under the bed, but it was dark and quiet there, she looked into the nightstand, but there were tights and socks there, then she drew attention to the bookshelf, on which there were a large number of different books. Natasha came closer, and the wonderful music began to sound a little louder. Feeling a sense of excitement and interest, the girl put up a chair and stood on it and looked at the shelf with multi-colored books. The books were so different, thin and thick, high and low, but only one book attracted the attention of the little girl. It was a small, pink book that was illuminated with a rainbow glow, and it was from there that a quiet and such a fabulous melody came. Natasha could not resist and took the book in her hands, and although the girl knew the letters, she still did not know how to read. She wanted to look at the pictures, and without hesitation, she opened the first page. In an instant, Natasha found herself inside a fairyland. A fairytale castle shone in its splendor before her eyes. - Oh, how did I end up here? - thought the girl. — I wonder who lives in such a beautiful castle? She headed along the road, along which unusually beautiful flowers bloomed, over which amazing, colorful butterflies fluttered. Natasha entered the castle and saw a large hall that shimmered with all the colors of the rainbow from the sun's rays. On a throne made of precious stones sat a beautiful young woman who smiled welcomingly at her little guest. -Hello, Natasha! - said the stranger. - Who you are? “I don’t know you,” the girl answered with surprise in her voice. - Of course, you don’t know me. All the inhabitants of the Earth know me, but you don’t want to listen about me and my children,” the woman answered with sadness in her voice. - I am the Queen of Politeness! And I invite only those boys and girls who never utter my magic words to visit us in our fairyland. Now your time has come, Natasha, I want to introduce you to my beloved children,” the woman said. The girl turned her head and saw a beautiful garden in which children were playing, just like girls and boys, but their clothes were not ordinary, but royal. The Queen extended her snow-white hand to Natasha, and together they went out into the marvelous garden. - Here are my children, meet Natasha. Everyone has their own name. The queen brought Natasha so close that the girl could even see the color of the children's eyes. - These are my sons, I have 6 of them: prince Thank you, prince Please, prince Hello, prince Sorry, prince Good night and the littlest prince Be kind. - These are my daughters, there are 6 of them too: Princess Goodbye, princess Excuse me, princess Thank you, princess Excuse me, princess Good morning and the youngest princess Good afternoon. Natasha had never thought before that something like this could happen to her. Natasha really liked the Queen’s children, and she even wanted to play with them. “Even though my children are small, they are great workers, they have been walking around the world for many years, and helping ordinary people in joys and troubles,” the beautiful Queen continued her story. - Like this? - Natasha was surprised. The Queen of Politeness smiled and extended her hand towards where her children stood. - But listen. For example, my son Prince Thank you, with his help people thank each other for some services, for help in business. Or, for example, Prince Hello, with his help people greet each other on the street, and when they come to visit, the first thing people say is the name of my son. You Natasha managed to offend each of my children. You have never uttered a single polite word. Look how sad they are about this. Natasha felt ashamed. - You see, Natasha, in our magical land, time has no power over age, and although they look like your peers, this is far from the case. My children and I have been serving people faithfully for many years, with our help it is easier for people to come to an agreement among themselves, it is easier to get out of any conflict or difficult situation, with our help wars and bloody battles have ended on Earth. The ability to correctly use polite words is a culture of behavior in society. The Queen ended her story with these words. Natasha listened to the Queen very carefully. But suddenly a bright butterfly flapped its colorful wings and gracefully sat down on a huge, ancient clock. Natasha knew the numbers well, but she still didn’t understand what time the clock showed? - Is this a real watch? - Natasha asked the Queen. This is the clock of time! You see, they have begun to walk very slowly and may soon stop completely. - Why? – the girl was sincerely surprised. - But because too many people on Earth have become ill-mannered and rude. They forgot the rules of behavior and words of politeness. And maybe it will happen that someday the clock of time will stop running, and we will disappear forever,” the Queen of Politeness said with sadness in her voice. Natasha felt sorry for the Queen of Politeness and her charming children. And she even wanted to cry out of resentment. - What needs to be done so that the time clock starts moving correctly and never stops? — the girl asked with a voice trembling with excitement. “You just need to be polite and well-mannered people.” And skillfully using such small, but so important and necessary words, the Queen pointed her hand at her beautiful children. As soon as 1 ill-mannered child on Earth corrects himself and becomes polite, the clock will go one tick-tock faster. Only in this case we will not disappear from human speech, not from fairy-tale land. - Oh, I understood everything! - Natasha exclaimed joyfully. “It’s probably my fault, I didn’t say good, polite words.” It was because of me that you almost died. I would like to return home and fix everything, but I don’t know how to get back to my mother? Natasha did not have time to finish the last word, but a warm, light breeze touched her cheeks, and where such a familiar and at the same time such a beautiful melody began to play in the distance. The rainbow sparkled with bright colors and disappeared without a trace. Natasha rubbed her eyes and looked around. She was again sitting on the rug in her room, her favorite dolls lay around her. “I guess I fell asleep and had an amazing dream?” - thought the girl. The door creaked and Natasha’s mother appeared on the threshold. - Let's go eat, daughter, the soup is ready! - she said tenderly and affectionately. Natasha wanted to say, as usual: I don’t want to, I won’t, I’m not hungry, leave me alone, I want to play. But this time the girl was in no hurry to answer. What if it was the truth, and not a dream, and somewhere far away in a magical land the clock of time could stop forever? What then will happen to the good Queen and her children? I promised to fix everything. Mom, meanwhile, called Natasha again for dinner. Natasha turned and looked at the bookshelf, her cheeks turned pink. The girl smiled and said: “Okay mommy. Thank you. I'm very hungry. And I’ll eat the soup with great pleasure.” And indeed, to the surprise of her mother and grandmother, Natasha ate all the soup and two slices of bread. When the plate was already empty, Natasha said to her mother: “Thank you, mommy, for such a delicious lunch.” Natasha’s mother opened her mouth in surprise: “You’re welcome, dear!” Natasha kissed her mother. - Mom, please tell me what kind of pink book is kept on the shelf in my room? — This is a children’s book, it’s called: Lessons in Politeness, why did you ask Natasha? - Mom answered. The girl came up to her mother, hugged her tightly around the neck and said: “Mommy, this book is magical. Forgive me, please, that I was such an ill-mannered girl, now I will always say magic words to everyone every day. Now I know how necessary and indispensable they are!” Natasha felt so light and cheerful, she looked at the bookshelf on which stood a small but so important book. And although she knew all the letters, she could not yet read, but she knew exactly what each polite word looked like.

We recommend watching:

Writing fairy tales in kindergarten A fairy tale about a musical instrument for children 5-7 years old A fairy tale for children 5 - 8 years old A fairy tale for children 4-5 years old

Principles of behavior during recess

Although children go to school for lessons, change has enormous social significance. From the outside, this may seem like a vacation without any additional functions, but in fact, right now the principles of communication with friends and strangers are being laid in the child’s head. It is during recess that children often master the concept of authority, leadership, learn to make acquaintances and maintain a conversation. Therefore, the baby also needs to be prepared for the change.

At school you always (and especially during recess) need to remember that there are a lot of people around. You should not show yourself to them from the worst side - in particular, you should not shout, or, especially, use rude words. There is no need to fight at school, as in the vast majority of life situations - a conflict or dispute can be resolved peacefully.
Active games and entertainment in childhood are welcome, but the school corridor is not the best place for such fun. There are quite a lot of different people there, so there is a high probability of accidentally bumping into someone, hitting someone painfully, or hitting yourself.
The politeness of students towards elders is a characteristic of the school level. You need to say hello to adults, even if you don’t know them, and it is also recommended to let them through the door when you meet them.

Who should teach children the rules?

The rules help younger schoolchildren more easily adapt to the team and find a common language with their peers. In addition, by following special rules, teachers can more easily manage the children. After all, communicating with thirty little students at the same time is not so easy. Who should teach children the rules of behavior? First of all, the responsibility lies with the parents. Before a child enters first grade, he undergoes an interview with a psychologist and the administration of the educational institution. The main requirement is knowledge of basic rules of conduct.

In the future, the teacher will tell you the rules of behavior for students at school during the first lessons. It is advisable for children to provide information in a playful way. Everything must be done to ensure that young schoolchildren want to follow the rules being discussed. You can add a competitive element: whoever best fulfills all the requirements receives an incentive at the end of the quarter. And in order for children to better remember all the necessary requirements, the “Rules of Behavior at School” memo should be placed in an accessible place.

How to arrive?

For first-graders, absolutely everything at school will be new – even how to arrive there correctly. Adults do not think about the fact that this still needs to be learned, but the child should be given a few simple tips.

The very first thing you should always remember is the neatness of your own appearance. People are greeted by their clothes, but this does not mean that dressing up once is enough - the opinions of others can always change for the worse. Of course, the choice of clothes for attending lessons is hardly within the competence of younger schoolchildren, but it is necessary to teach the child that he bears one hundred percent responsibility for the cleanliness and neatness of his appearance.
It is better to arrive at school early - there should be at least 10-15 minutes left before the bell rings. This is both a guarantee that there will be no problems due to being late, and a manifestation of respect between people interacting in a team. This rule will certainly be useful to children in adulthood. You also need to rush to school because in recent years many institutions have required you to wear replacement shoes. In winter, mandatory procedures before the start of the lesson also include visiting the locker room.
In the locker room you should behave politely, do not jostle and not start active games. You can also show politeness by picking up someone else's clothes that have fallen off the rack through no fault of your own.

History of etiquette

The culture of human communication is based on the observance of certain rules that have been developed by man over thousands of years. Since the late Middle Ages, these rules have been called etiquette.

Etiquette (translated from French - label, label) is a set of rules of behavior relating to the external manifestation of a person’s relationship with people. This refers to behavior with others, forms of address and greetings, behavior in public places, manners and clothing.

A number of researchers attribute the conscious cultivation of rules that determine external forms of behavior and etiquette to the period of antiquity (Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome). It was at this time that the first attempts to specially teach people beautiful behavior were observed. “Beautiful behavior” itself at this time practically coincided with the virtues of ancient man, with his ideas about morality and citizenship.

The combination of the beautiful and the moral was denoted by the ancient Greeks with the concept “kalokagathia” (Greek ear - beautiful, agathos - good). The basis of kalokagathia was perfection of both physical build and spiritual and moral make-up; along with beauty and strength, it contained justice, chastity, courage and rationality.

In this sense, in antiquity there was no etiquette as the actual external form of manifestation of human culture, since there was no opposition between the external and the internal (ethical and moral).

The main thing for the ancient Greeks was to live wisely, simply, according to the behests of their ancestors and the laws of the state, avoiding excesses and extremes. The most important principles determining their strategy of behavior were the principles of “reasonableness” and the “golden mean”.

The first printed codes on the rules of etiquette appeared in the 15th century in Spain, from where they quickly spread to other Western European countries. “Etiquette” entered the Russian language at the beginning of the 18th century.

True, back in the era of Ivan the Terrible, “Domostroy”, written by Sylvester, appeared, a kind of code of rules that should guide citizens in their behavior and attitude towards secular authorities, the church, etc.

But all etiquette boiled down to obedience to the domestic despot, whose will determined the specific rules of behavior for each member of the household. The unlimited power of the head of the family was a reflection of the same unlimited power in the ascending line - the boyar, the governor, the tsar.

Etiquette in pre-Petrine Russia assigned a very modest role to women. Before Peter I, a woman rarely appeared among men, and then only for a few minutes. During the turbulent era of Peter I, the way of life of the Russian people changed dramatically. Special manuals were created for young nobles: they indicated in detail how to behave in society.

Thus, in 1717, by order of Peter I, the book “An Honest Mirror of Youth, or Punishment for Everyday Life, Collected from Various Authors” was published. This book was compiled from numerous Western European codes of general civil etiquette.

Accordingly, at the court, and then among the nobility in general, certain elements of Western European, mainly English, etiquette came into use, especially in clothing and in raising children.

In certain periods of the history of Tsarist Russia, abuse of etiquette was combined with servile admiration for foreigners, with contempt for national traditions and folk customs.

In aristocratic Western Europe, the strictness of court etiquette sometimes led to curious situations. One day, the French king Louis XIII came to talk about business with Cardinal Richelieu when he was sick and could not get out of bed. Then Louis, whose royal dignity could not allow him to talk to his lying subject while sitting or standing, lay down with him. And the Spanish monarch Philip III preferred to burn himself in front of the fireplace rather than extinguish it himself.

In many countries, court etiquette has been brought in some parts to obvious absurdity, and sometimes turns into outright stupidity. Nowadays it’s funny to read, for example, to what height the hem of a woman’s dress could be raised when crossing the threshold, and ladies of different ranks had unequal opportunities to show their legs.

The ceremony of balls, dinners, and greetings of the royal person was especially complex. In old chronicles one could often find descriptions of quarrels and even the outbreak of war due to the violation of some minor rule of etiquette. In the 18th century Our mission in China failed due to the fact that the Russian envoy refused to kneel before the emperor in the manner required by the etiquette of the Peking court.

In 1804, Adam Krusenstern, who delivered the Russian embassy to Nagasaki with ships, described with indignation the behavior of the Dutch. When a high-ranking Japanese appeared, they bowed at a right angle, with their arms extended at their sides. After an unsuccessful attempt to get the Russians to bend in the same manner, the Japanese no longer bothered them on this score. But they had to leave with nothing because of their unwillingness to comply with, in their opinion, stupid rules of etiquette.

Over many centuries, each nation has brought its own specifics, its own national flavor to the development of etiquette. Most customs remained only a national treasure. But some were accepted by other nations. From Scandinavia came the custom now accepted throughout the world, according to which the most honorable place at the table is given to the guest.

In knightly times, it was considered good form for ladies and their gentlemen to sit at the table in pairs. They ate from the same plate and drank from the same glass. This custom has now become only a legend.

Removing the headdress as a gesture of etiquette is common mainly in Europe. Muslims, Jews and representatives of some other nations did not bare their heads for these purposes. This difference has long been recognized as one of the most remarkable distinctive features of European and Eastern peoples.

One of the stories common in medieval Europe told how Turkish ambassadors came to Ivan the Terrible, a sovereign known for his cruelty, who, according to their custom, did not take off their hats in front of him. The Emperor decided to “strengthen” their custom and ordered their hats to be nailed to their heads with iron nails.

And yet, a significant part of the rules of etiquette arose on the basis of universal human moral and aesthetic needs. Thus, the ability to control oneself is the most important feature of etiquette. Indeed, as civilization develops, etiquette turns into one of the forms of curbing human natural instincts and passions. Other common norms of etiquette meet the urgent needs for cleanliness and neatness (i.e. hygiene).

The third rules require the beauty of people’s communication and the appropriateness of their actions. Ethics also partly reflects ancient traditional forms of veneration of women and ancestors.

Almost everywhere she was given flowers, wreaths, and fruits as a symbol of beauty and fertility. To bare your head in front of a woman, to stand in her presence, to give way to her and to show her all kinds of signs of attention - these rules were not invented in the era of chivalry, they are a manifestation of the ancient cult of women.

People strive to satisfy their needs in a form that is considered beautiful and pleasant. Man has never been content with the fact that clothes only provide warmth, and that any household item is only needed for something. The desire for beauty in life is an urgent human need.

The rules of etiquette are very specific and aimed at regulating the external form of communication; they provide recommendations for behavior in pre-agreed situations. The rules of etiquette determine how a person communicates with other people, what his behavior is, gestures, methods of greetings, behavior at the table, etc.

Etiquette (moral theory) - in a broad sense, is a set of rules and regulations that determine relationships between people. It includes the rules of courtesy and politeness accepted in society. Modern etiquette inherits the customs of almost all nations from hoary antiquity to the present day.

Fundamentally, these rules of conduct are universal, since they are observed not only by representatives of a given society, but also by representatives of the most diverse socio-political systems existing in the modern world. The people of each country make their own amendments and additions to etiquette, determined by the social system of the country, the specifics of its history, national traditions and customs.

There are several types of etiquette, the main ones being:

court etiquette - strictly regulated order and forms of behavior established at the courts of monarchs;
diplomatic etiquette - rules of conduct for diplomats and other officials when contacting each other at various diplomatic receptions, visits, negotiations;
military etiquette is a set of rules, norms and behavior generally accepted in the army by military personnel in all areas of their activities;
general civil etiquette is a set of rules, traditions and conventions observed by citizens when communicating with each other.

Most of the rules of diplomatic, military and civil etiquette coincide to one degree or another. The difference between them is that greater importance is attached to compliance with the rules of etiquette by diplomats, since deviation from them or violation of these rules can cause damage to the prestige of the country or its official representatives and lead to complications in relations between states.

As the living conditions of mankind change, education and culture grow, some rules of behavior are replaced by others. What was previously considered indecent becomes generally accepted, and vice versa. But the requirements of etiquette are not absolute: compliance with them depends on the place, time and circumstances. Behavior that is unacceptable in one place and under some circumstances may be appropriate in another place and under other circumstances.

The norms of etiquette, in contrast to the norms of morality, are conditional; they have the nature of an unwritten agreement about what is generally accepted in people’s behavior and what is not. Every cultured person must not only know and observe the basic norms of etiquette, but also understand the need for certain rules and relationships.

Manners largely reflect a person’s internal culture, his moral and intellectual qualities. The ability to behave correctly in society is very important: it facilitates the establishment of contacts, promotes mutual understanding, and creates good, stable relationships.

It should be noted that a tactful and well-mannered person behaves in accordance with the norms of etiquette not only at official ceremonies, but also at home. Genuine politeness, which is based on goodwill, is determined by tact, a sense of proportion, suggesting what can and cannot be done under certain circumstances.

Such a person will never violate public order, will not offend another by word or deed, will not insult his dignity. Modern etiquette regulates the behavior of people in everyday life, at work, in public places and on the street, at a party and at various kinds of official events - receptions, ceremonies, negotiations.

So, etiquette is a very large and important part of universal human culture, morality, morality, developed over many centuries of life by all peoples in accordance with their ideas about goodness, justice, humanity - in the field of moral culture and about beauty, order, improvement, everyday expediency - in the field of material culture.

Conversations in the “Good Manners” circle for preschoolers